Journey (last days)

A month has passed since I first came to Europe. I have wandered here and there, meeting people and considering the shape of my life and what it brings me in this next chapter. Many cultures (and their foods!) have found there way into me. The languages and the people of Europe are astounding. I love this place, these cities, and this is where my heart has always wanted me to live. But now I must rebuild everything in order to be here. I must build a home for my daughter and myself, move on into the next part of my life.

Most of the past two weeks have been spent in Poland. It cities amaze me even though I have been here many times. Wroclaw is by far my favorite and I plan to come here this summer and spend a month in residency working on a new project. I will bring Isobel here to see this place and experience it herself.

But I have wandered through Lodz (being fortunate enough to have gotten to lecture at the University of Lodz) its streets full of young people, danced all night in Krakow, and even spending a single night in Warsaw (which is still a pretty depressing town). Every city brought out dozens (and in some places hundreds) of people to see our shows. The two nights of performances in Lodz were my favorite, but the spectacle of our Wroclaw show was the best night. We performed in an old movie theater with a huge stage and a great projector. Absolutely beautiful.

Last night we performed our last show in Zilina Slovakia. It was a small show and as a fitting end of the tour the acoustic bass exploded during the first set (the bridge and strings just came right off, I have never seen anything like it). I had to jump on a train back to Krakow right after the gig to catch an 11am departure to Copenhagen. (Which is where I am now). Tonight I will end the journey with one last night in the city I started in. Copenhagen is a great (but expensive) place.

The real purpose of this long journey was to find something I had lost, myself. I set out to learn about who I am and I hope that I have in some way done this. I have had much time for reflection and introspection. I feel a new chapter of my life coming as the last chapter is ending. Many characters will remain, but some new ones are will be coming onto the stage. The plot thickens.

What details my future holds I do not know. I have to make some very calculated decisions as soon as I return to Chicago. I walked out on a life in chaos one month ago. Emotionally and financially my life there is in ruins. I must return and fix the things that are broken and discard the things I can not fix. My marriage is over, and the debt is astounding. I must do what needs to be done, get everything in order, and begin to build a new life here. A life of happiness and of hope.

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